Over 27 million abortions have been performed since the decision of the Supreme Court in Roe versus Wade; but the abortion debate still rages on. We hear words such as ╥holocaust╙, ╥murder╙. We see the panic of women with unexpected pregnancies, hear the risks of illegal abortions. Even those of us who are strong in our convictions cannot pretend that there are easy answers. I wish there were. For the sake of the mothers and babies, I wish there were.
We argue endlessly over the status of the unborn: product of conception, fetus, human, person? Who decides? While the debate continues, so does life. Babies╩╤╩ fetuses, whatever╩╤╩are conceived. Some are ╙wanted╙; some are not.
I receive a phone call. A young woman had threatened miscarriage, refusing a D & C╩╤╩against medical advice╩╤╩because she knew her baby was still alive. She continued spotting and worrying and hoping. While undergoing a series of ultrasounds, she became friendly with the technician. ╥Look,╙ he would show her, ╥this is your baby╒s heart beating.╙ ╥See╩╤╩your baby╒s spine.╙ On her last visit, he pointed out the baby╒s tiny hand. ╥It╒s waving. Maybe he╒s trying to tell you he╒s all right.╙ Days later, she lost the baby.
She is grieving. She tried to get her newspaper to run an obituary, but gave up after a fruitless argument. ╥It was a baby that died,╙ she insists. ╥My baby was alive╩╤╩I saw the heartbeat, everything╩╤╩and now he╒s dead.╙
I use the word ╥baby╙, because that is the word she uses. In my experience with pregnant women, I╒ve never heard one say, ╥Oh, I just felt the fetus kick!╙ or ╥I can╒t wait for the fetus to be born!╙ What makes a fetus become a baby?
My third child had to be hospitalized as a newborn. In the neonatal intensive care unit at Children's Hospital, he looked like a giant among a crowd of the tiniest preemies I have ever seen. There are ads in my copy of the yellow pages from clinics offering abortions up until 24 weeks of pregnancy. I saw babies that had been born on or before then. One moment a fetus, the next a baby worth much effort, state of the art technology, and thousands of dollars in an attempt to save.
╥The nurses here must certainly be pro-life, to do the work they do,╙ mused my husband, ever the idealist.
╥Not really,╙ one of them replied. ╥All of us would do anything to help these babies survive, but some still think a woman has a right to choose.╙
A woman╒s right to choose...a baby╒s right to live...we seem at an impasse. Each side stands firm, and yet there are inconsistencies, ironies...
There are pro-choice advocates who fight informed consent laws as if afraid that a woman, once she has been educated, might make a choice other than abortion. Some women spend hundreds, even thousands of dollars in an attempt to conceive, or thousands in order to adopt. Others have repeat abortions. Some pro-lifers can wax eloquent and sentimental over the unborn, yet protest the presence of a baby at a church gathering. I see a tee shirt proclaiming, ╥Pro-child, pro-family, pro-choice╙. I hear a woman on the pro-life side say, ╥I couldn╒t stand the thought of being pregnant again.╙
The Hippocratic oath states, ╥Nor will I give a woman a pessary to procure abortion╙, yet it is physicians that perform abortions. I read articles about how some obstetricians feel they are treating two patients, mother and fetus. They describe the dilemma that arises when the best interests of the two patients appear in conflict. I read about court-ordered cesarean sections and ponder: A woman has the right to choose whether she should give birth but no right to choose how. Organizations such as NOW agitate for reproductive freedom, yet do not speak at all on behalf of those of us who want freedom in deciding how or where it is safest for our babies to be born. Somehow, having your baby (or fetus) killed is more acceptable than giving birth without medical intervention.
So many inconsistencies...
I stand praying outside of an abortion clinic. There are people yelling and screaming and blowing whistles; they don╒t want me here. I pray for the babies. I pray for the mothers. I know what it is like to be pregnant. Although I love my husband, love my babies, love carrying them in my womb, am reasonably healthy╩╤╩still, pregnancy is not easy. But there are things far worse than pregnancy, far worse even than unwanted pregnancy. I pray for all those with bloodied hands and consciences.
